Taking my talents to Charlotte

A mere five years ago the Bobcats passed on getting the best point guard in the NBA. You couldn’t blame them though. If you’re one year removed from expansion and you have two lottery picks (a 5th and 13th), there’s no way you trade them both to move up just a couple spots in the draft. Besides, the biggest claim to fame for Chris Paul at that point was him taking a vice grip to Julius Hodge’s manhood. Now, after years of watching CP3 tear it up with the purple and teal and seeing Raymond Felton get shook Mob Deep style, we have a chance to redeem ourselves.

If you’re N’awlings you have to trade Chris Paul. He’s gone anyway; that’s abundantly clear. You might as well get an All-Star, a decent starter, a young backup and some draft picks for him. Darren Collison may turn out to be nearly as good as Paul, and you get the chance to surround him with a few other solid players. Forget trying to land a free agent next year. You think Paul is going to lobby for Melo to come play for the Hornets? If you can get Gerald Wallace, Boris Diaw, D.J. Augustin, Erick Dampier, and two future first rounders, you take that every time.

If you’re the Bobcats, it’s a little more dicey. Say we land Chris Paul because he’s homesick, he loves MJ and he heard the french toast at the Uptown Cabaret is downright delectable at 3:00 a.m. If we traded the aforementioned players and received Paul and James Posey, the starting five would look something like this: Paul, Jackson, Posey, Thomas, Mohammed. That’s a better scoring and defensive lineup than last year’s playoff squad. Paul is among the best on-the-ball defenders in the league; Posey’s one of the best off-the-ball guys. Offensively, Paul would make Tyrus look like a rich man’s Tyson Chandler. I love G-Force, but landing Chris Paul isn’t an opportunity that comes down Trade and Tryon too often. (Let’s not forget this deal would include shipping out the Crepe Devourer too. Any time you can cut some fat from your roster, so to speak, you hack away.)

So could Chris Paul really be coming to save the Charlotte Bobcats from a season destined for mediocrity? Or are we going to watch Shaun Livingston’s knee turn inside out again and watch D.J. have the confidence of a Ghanian soccer player when the ref points to the spot? I know the Paul thing is farfetched. It’s not like the offer’s on the table, but it’s on the stove. And sometimes when these rumors marinate for a while a move is made. It’s still tough to fathom, but it’s also so fun to think about.

By the way, I love the Livingston pickup. He’s only 24 years old and never turns the ball over. I guarantee the Bobcats will get their $7 million worth in the next two years. On an unrelated note, I’d like to see Erick Dampier in a cage fight. I bet he could tear a phone book in half. I wouldn’t mind if we signed him to a one-year deal after he’s waived by whichever team he’s traded t0. Dampier’s not letting anyone get to the hoop without at least a forearm shiver to the rib cage — a.k.a Playing the Right Way.

Stay tuned. More thoughts to come.

Free Agency? We Talkin’ Bout Free Agency?

“LeBron James is only one man. LeBron James has to do what’s best for LeBron James.”

Ok, that’s not an exact quote from the self-anointed king of professional basketball, but it’s pretty damn close. I’ve always been a fan of the guy’s on-the-court stuff. He’ll break all kinds of individual records when his career comes to a close. But ever since the 2009-2010 season came to a close, LeBron has left a sour taste in my mouth. For lack of a better characterization, this guy is an egomanicac.

Don’t get me wrong, a lot of professional athletes are haughty. Why do you think Madden ‘11 has a “swagger” rating?  You have to possess that I’m-better-than-you attitude in competitive sports. That’s all well and good. It just starts rubbing me the wrong way when you throw your illustriousness in my face off the court. Yes, LeBron you are probably the most coveted free agent in NBA history. Yes, everyone wants to know where you’re going. But stop being a Kardashian. Make your decision and move on. Don’t exploit people’s emotions. That’s for SportsCenter to do.

LeBron James (not coincidentally) joined Twitter yesterday.  One of his first tweets: “Check out lebronjames.com for updated info on my decision.” Really, dude? You reek of self-importance. You want to see how it’s supposed to be done? Look at the best young player in the NBA, Kevin Durant. His five-year extension mostly flew under the radar. No mind games, no press conference at an undisclosed location, he just inked the deal and is probably in the gym right now working on his post game — something King James is sorely lacking. That’s the way it’s supposed to be done. LeBron’s goal is to be the most popular basketball player in the world. Kevin Durant and Kobe Bryant want to be the best player in the world — with the latter vying to be the best ever.

Speaking of the best basketball player ever, if you happen to see MJ on the links somewhere, tell him to get the metaphoric free agent ball rolling. It’s been two months and we haven’t heard a peep. In the NBA if you’re not getting better, you’re getting worse. And right now the Bobcats are missing a starting point guard, a center, have a solid power forward still unsigned and have one too many paunchy French players. I don’t know about you, but I’m not complacent with just making the playoffs. Now that Miami is dropping 200 million on two players, we’re definitely no better than fourth in the division. And who knows what John Wall will bring to the Wiz? It could be a long winter for the Bobs if we don’t start shaking things up. I heard Allen Iverson was spotted at The Forum in Uptown Charlotte. I may be able to talk myself into the Allen Iverson era in Charlotte. Ask yourself if he’s better than Raymond Felton. I don’t know the answer.

Alexis Ajinca quote of the day, courtesy of Assistant Coach Dave Hanners:

“It’s not that he’s a bad guy or anything. He’s just a young kid and he forgets he’s not playing hard. Some guys have the bulldog mentality where they want everything for themselves every second. They push people out of the way. He’s not like that…”

The Tyson Chandler Debacle

I’ve always had mixed feelings about the tallest player in Bobcats history. My feelings really shouldn’t be mixed. He’s a largely unexceptional player, owing his only worthwhile seasons to Chris Paul’s brilliance. But I’ve always been a sucker for freaks of nature. And the only reason Tyson Chandler was picked second in the draft is because he was a physical anomaly. I guarantee if drafting high school players were allowed today, an 18-year-old, 7′1, 230-pound center with a 33-inch vertical would be a perennial top-five pick. He possessed the same body and limited offensive repertoire as Dwight Howard coming out of twelfth grade. You can teach post skills and touch; you can’t teach length and athleticism. Every year I waited and hoped for Tyson to fulfill his potential. I kept saying, “2003 is his breakout year… Look out for Tyson in 2007… He’ll thrive in Larry Brown’s system.” It never happened. And now after a horrific, injury-plagued season with the Bobcats, now that you’re contemplating opting out of an unfitting contract, I’m tearing down your (free) poster in my Party Lounge. I’m over you, Tyson Chandler.

Now, it’s hard to imagine why on earth Chandler would want to rip up the $12.6 million dollar contract and start fresh. ESPN’s Chad Ford fancies Tyson wants to take advantage of all of the teams under the cap. (They all can’t sign LeBron, Bosh, and D-Wade.) Realistically, which team in need of a center would offer Tyson half of what he’s making now? Which team going to fork over the big bucks to a guy who’s missed 68 games in the past two seasons? I wouldn’t go anywhere near him. If he’s healthy now, like he claims he is, why wouldn’t he play out this final year at a “high level” and try to squeeze a few million more in a long-term deal after the 2010-2011 season? Again, I don’t understand the logic of opting out.

Here’s the thing: I don’t care if Tyson leaves. Good riddance, dude. I’ve watched you miss too many dunks and  have seen you wear too many custom suits on the sideline to welcome you back. But the problem here — from a franchise perspective — is it means the Bobcats are now down to just two inadequate centers. So now Nazr Mohammed and Desagana “Anyone But Me” Diop are our only options in the middle, that is, unless the Maine Red Claws can live without… I don’t even want to say it. Yikes. Chad Ford viewed Chandler’s departure as an opportunity for the Cats to replace the 7-footer with about $6 million. Name the last free agent signed to a Charlotte basketball team for that kind of money. It doesn’t happen. Look at the guys we lured in last year: Larry Hughes, Theo Ratliff and Flip Murray. This off-season they’ve been working out Darius Miles. Seriously. Like I’ve said before — we can only get decent players via trades, sub-par players via the draft and throwaway players via free agency. It’s hard being a Bobcats fan.

So here’s what I want to see this offseason. Lock up Tyrus Thomas. He just came out today and said he’s looking to put some ink on a long-term deal. He was the best Bobcat on the court in game four against Orlando. With a little polishing, Tyrus could become a star in Charlotte in the next few years. Don’t let this guy go.

Secondly, when the clock strikes midnight on July 1st, have a trade ready. Ship Tyson out of town so we can get something in return. I don’t want to see him get “replaced” in free agency by Rasho Nesterovic. The NBA is going to see a big shake-up in personnel this offseason. Lots of teams are going to be wheeling and dealing. The Cats don’t have the luxury of sitting on what they have (or don’t have). If Tyson and Raymond Felton leave, we better be ready to bring in someone special. And for god’s sake, don’t get involved in the draft. We can’t take it anymore.

For the Time Being

I’ve really let myself go. I feel like I’m 14 years old again and the only girl sporting a B cup in my middle school just ended our once-in-a-lifetime, two-week relationship. I can’t get over it. I sprouted a beard and grew out my thinning hair out of sorrow and negligence. (Although I had get my wig split after some bloke at the gym called me “that Chris Kaman-looking dude.”)  This season, for the first time as a Bobcats fan, I became emotionally attached.

Now it’s all over, and I feel unsatisfied. I suppose that’s kind of selfish. The Cats accomplished more this year than they ever have: a franchise-record 44 wins, a franchise-first trip to the playoffs, landing the biggest name in sports as a majority owner and wiping another year off Gana Diop’s contract. But I can’t help but think of what could should have been.

The Magic are a great basketball team. I think they pretty much proved that to every naysayer who pokes fun at their offensively inept center or corpulent, clammy bowling ball of a coach. I don’t mind being outclassed on a personnel level. I said all along this was one of the worst possible matchups for the Cats. However, I have a real problem with the lack of adjustments made during the series.

You shut down Dwight Howard. Fantastic. That’s like saying you kept Nickelback from playing good music. Dwight Howard shuts himself down. I don’t know if Larry Brown magically morphed into Don Nelson and forgot how to handle a 7-footer on defense or if the players just didn’t listen to what he had to say. I bet it was a bit of both. Either way the incessant, frenzied double-teaming of Dwight Howard is ultimately what lost the series for the Cats. Sure, he averaged an astonishing five and a half fouls and fewer than 30 minutes a game, but it didn’t matter because he’s the fourth offensive option on the team. Every single time he got the ball we’d immediately double, leaving some 3-point dweller wide open. It was the same story for all 192 minutes of the series — even when Marcin Gortat was in the game. Would you have cared if Dwight Howard dropped 30 a night for four straight nights? I would love to see him pull that off.

I feel like we missed the boat on getting rid of Boris Diaw. It’s too late now. His cover’s blown. Boris put up a whopping 7.5 points per game in the series; Tyson Chandler averaged 3.5 a game. How much do you pay a pair of guys who perform like that? Try a combined $21 million a year. Smile! It’ll all be over… uh… the year after next. You can’t trade Boris now because you’ll get 10 cents on the dollar. Chandler on the other hand will be in the final year of his mammoth contract, and any team that’s looking to clear up cap space for the summer of 2011 should be interested. This is how you have to acquire basketball players if you’re Charlotte. You can’t lure in free agents so there’s no point in letting players walk. Trade ‘em while you got ‘em.

Speaking of letting players walk, perhaps the most interesting offseason decision will be what to do with Raymond Felton. He let the world know he’s not an elite player by getting absolutely manhandled by Jameer Nelson. I can see the Lakers throwing five million at him just because they need an adequate point guard. Aside from that, his free agent options are few and far between. The same goes for the Bobcats. If Raymond leaves, who are you going to get to replace him? The most interesting prospect would be Joe Johnson. He can run the point well enough and would create huge matchup problems on offense. But let’s be honest, no free agent of his status is coming to Charlotte. So I think you almost have to resign Raymond Felton, that is, unless DJ Augustin drastically improves in the offseason.

We’re definitely losing Tyrus Thomas, which really saddens me because he’s just coming into his own and realizing his potential. Tyrus developed a 20-foot jump shot during the course of the year and really showed it off during game four in Charlotte. For some reason Coach Brown refused to play him in the first three games, instead opting for 21 feet of incompetence that is Ratliff/Mohammed/Chandler. So long, Tyrus. It was fun watching you while it lasted. Now go develop and spend your best years with a team that will let you play 30 minutes a game.

I’m sure Michael Jordan never had a problem scoring — on or off the court. But scoring is the biggest roadblock the Bobcats face right now. Statistically, the Bobcats were the best defensive team in the NBA. That’s a huge feat that all fans should be extremely proud of. But when it comes down to getting a bucket, the Cats lack that go-to guy. Stephen Jackson was a great addition, but he can only make love to so much pressure. And sometimes the pressure of scoring is too big for the back seat of his Cadillac. We’ve got to add another body into the mix, so to speak. Ray Allen anyone?

Right now, as I type, Larry Brown is in Philadelphia telling his wife to drive the right way, telling his teenage daughter to dress the right way and telling his teenage son he’ll never amount to a worthwhile point guard. The fate of the franchise rests on Larry’s 70-year-old shoulders. Well, it probably rests on his wife’s shoulders. I predict Shelly Brown will win, and we’ll be stuck looking for the next Sam Vincent. You can’t be mad at Larry though. He did what no other coach could have done with what he was given. He’s the biggest basketball name aside from Jordan to have anything to do with the city. That in itself excuses him from the empty promises he manufactures at a politician’s pace. And while we may be in for a long offseason, we’re relevant again. Fans have short memories, and now the playoffs are expected every year. I’m afraid if we don’t make some power moves this summer, the postseason may be out of reach yet again. We shall see.

The Magic of the Playoffs

The first half of the first postseason game in Bobcats franchise history was pretty atrocious. The Cats looked absolutely terrified at the start of the game. That’s expected. Not many Bobcats players have experienced the intensity of playoff basketball. But they dug themselves in a hole even Cliffhanger Stallone couldn’t climb out of (and he can climb anything). While the overall outcome left you thinking of what could have been, there was still a lot to be happy with.

The Good

Tyson Chandler and Theo Ratliff did a sensational job on Dwight Howard, frustrating the ballyhooed center and forcing him to take uncontested 15-foot shots — also known as free throws. The Hack-a-Howard approach needs to be employed for the remainder of the series. To think some people still trumpet Howard’s name in the MVP discussion. You think if LeBron, Kobe, or Kevin Durant had a game that horrendous their teams would still win? Absolutely not. Kudos to Larry Brown for doing what so many other teams inexplicably failed to do this year — foul the hell out of one of the worst free throw shooters in the league.

As expected, Vince Carter delivered another playoff performance like only he knows how. It’s hard to believe that he’s 21st on the all-time list of points per game. Credit Gerald Wallace for the stifling D, but Vince also deserves a high five for his unwavering commitment to mediocrity. Way to go!

When the Cats settled down and started attacking the hoop, they chipped away at that 22-point deficit. You can’t become daunted by Dwight Howard’s blocking prowess. He’s going to get several of those a game. You have to take it right to him and get him in foul trouble. That’s exactly what the Cats did in the second half. More on that in a moment.

The Bad

Let’s say you were unaware that Nazr Mohammed hasn’t been healthy since Valentine’s Day. And you didn’t know he gained a solid 15 pounds in that time frame. It still probably took you only 30 seconds to realize he was the worst player to step on the court Sunday night. Somehow, in Nazr’s eight minutes of playing time, the Bobcats were outscored by 14 points. I think you could stick Danny DeVito in the low post and be better off. (Attention all Okafor-Truthers: Tyson Chandler registered a team-high +12 rating in 14 minutes. Ratliff was +5 in 18 minutes. I’m just saying.) We need Mohammed’s fouls. He can’t afford to play that poorly when he’s in the game. Unacceptable.

Raymond Felton and DJ Augustin had no answer for Jameer Nelson. He was beating everyone off the dribble and getting his teammates a lot of open looks. Just as I thought, the Cats gave up a barrage of three-point attempts, which ultimately cost them the game. The Magic aren’t exactly an X’s and O’s team. It’s basically Howard under the hoop, three guys standing at the three-point line, and a point guard dribbling way too much. If you can keep Jameer Nelson in front of you then you can better contest those 28-footers. Do we put Gerald Wallace on him for a few possessions to see how it works out? Felton can surely cover Mickael Pietrus along the perimeter.

The Ugly

I get it David Stern. I know you want your star players on the court in the playoffs. But there’s no reason why Dwight Howard should be awarded eight fouls to give. Howard should have fouled out on a loose ball rebound where he raked Gerald Wallace across the face, a la Hugh Jackman with sideburns. And he unequivocally, indubitably, beyond any shadow of doubt should have been called for his sixth foul when Wallace hung in the air, absorbed the contact and converted. It’s like the opposite of the Dwayne Wade effect in 2006 finals when the NBA looked like professional wrestling. Phantom calls were made left and right, and Wade shot free throws on the way to another ring for Shaq. It’s different this time because we want Dwight Howard to shoot free throws. We fouled the hell out of him every time he touched the ball, and somehow he managed to shoot only seven freebies. On the other end, you could nearly see the outline of the whistles in the refs’ throats whenever Dwight went to block a shot. They weren’t blowing those things unless someone drew blood.

I’ll include the Stephen Jackson injury and subsequent benching in the “Ugly” spot just because it’s the subject of controversy in the Queen City right now. Listen, it was game one. You don’t roll the dice on your best scorer on the road when you’re down by double digits in game one. Sure, it’s a conservative approach. But if we somehow lost Captain Jack for the remainder of the playoffs, it would all be over in four. We weren’t expected to win that game anyway. Rest him up and prepare to win game two. It’s easy to look back in hindsight and say, “Oh, it’s just a bone bruise. Let him play!” But Larry Brown put it best when he said Stephen Jackson would play on a torn ACL if he could. The man’s a warrior.

Don’t panic. There’s still a lot of basketball yet to to be played.

On the Prowl

We have finally entered the realm of sports heaven. Major League Baseball is underway, the NHL postseason has begun, the NFL draft is coming up and, of course, the NBA Playoffs — the best postseason tournament in all of sports — has finally arrived. For the next few months, we get to see the world’s best athletes battle for supremacy on 94 feet of hardwood.

Whenever people argue over the NBA versus the NCAA, I always point to the postseason. College basketball’s biggest draw is also its greatest flaw. No doubt Cinderella stories are sexy. It’s hard not get caught up in March Madness. But I want to the best of the best square off. Southeastern Oklahoma State may upset BYU, but really, who gives a damn?  Win six games in the tournament and you’re an NCAA champion. Win six games in the NBA Playoffs and you’re going home in the second round. Isn’t the entire idea of the playoffs to determine which team is best? You have that answer at the end of the NBA Finals. I don’t think you do at the end of March Madness. Don’t give me that purity lecture about college players not getting paid. I’m pretty sure any John Calipari recruit is making as much as Theo Ratliff, but I digress.

 Now that Duke and UNC fans are tracing my IP address in hope of smashing my fingers so that I may never type again, let’s talk Bobcats-Magic. As a fan, I’m happy the Cats are playing game three in the afternoon. It’s going to be awesome seeing people tailgate at 9 a.m. for a Bobcats game. I’m confident that’s never happened before. But the Cats definitely got the short end of the stick with the schedule. Afternoon games always seem to get teams out of sync. NBA players are creatures of habit — eat, sleep, practice, play, strip club. Throw a wrinkle in that mix, like restricting the disposal of dollar bills, and it affects their performance. Any other year, the defending Eastern Conference champs would get prime-time coverage. But since the Magic are playing the NBA team with the least amount of national appeal, they get the early games. Both Milwaukee and Charlotte failed to have nationally televised games this year. The Wizards had eight.

I’ve acknowledged how this matchup is less than favorable for the Cats (open 3’s, open 3’s, open 3’s), but when you’re hungry for something like the playoffs, beggars can’t be choosers. It’s kind of like when Sean May goes to Golden Corral and finds they’re out of fatback. There’s still plenty to be excited about. The Magic have been playing phenomenally since the all-star break. They’ve only lost seven games at home all year, one of which, however, was against the Bobcats who were playing without G-Force. Let’s break down the matchups position by position.

Center: Advantage Magic

However flawed, Dwight Howard is still the best center in the NBA. It’s a good thing Tyson Chandler’s injury in the season finale wasn’t more serious. If he couldn’t play, it would all be over in four. The key to beating the Magic rests soley with how you defend Dwight Howard. He can either disrupt the Magic’s entire offense or make it all click. Howard’s no Jenna Jameson when it comes to commanding a double team, so if he catches the ball 12 feet out, you’re in good shape. But If he gets the ball deep in the post, say goodnight. I say we dress Alexis Ajinca, sit Larry Hughes and foul the smile right off of Dwight Howard’s face.

Forwards: Push

This will be the most interesting matchup of the series: 3-point shooting versus interior play. Boris Diaw guarding Rashard Lewis is a huge mismatch on both ends of the floor. The 3-point line to Rashard Lewis is like the Berlin Wall circa 1980. He’ll go stretches where he only runs 35 feet up and down the floor, making sure he doesn’t cross into that painted Soviet territory. This is bad news for Boris on the defensive end. He’ll have to get out there and stick a hand in Lewis’ face, freeing up Dwight Howard on the offensive boards. That sucks. But Lewis doesn’t know how to play defense – especially not on the low block. Before you get too excited about Diaw’s chances on the offensive end, remember this is the paunchy Frenchman we’re talking about. Let’s hope he pulls the trigger. If not, there’s no way we can win. One of the few things I’m sure of in this series is that Gerald Wallace will shut down Vince Carter. Vince is too slow, apathetic and shoots way too many dumb shots to be successful against such an adept defender. This also poses a rebounding problem though, for Vince and Rashard sleep in the same bed when it comes to the 3-point line. It’s never a good idea to have your leading rebounder that far away from the basket on defense.

Guards: Advantage Bobcats

Raymond Felton and Jameer Nelson are remarkably alike, save the fact that Nelson has a better jumper and Felton is a better passer. Neither player will be the difference maker in the series. But Stephen Jackson is leaps and bounds above any two guard the Magic can throw at him. Mickael Pietrus is a shutdown perimeter defender, but he’s a liability on offense so he’ll split time with J.J. Redick and Matt Barnes. Jackson needs to have a great series for the Bobcats to be successful. He’s won a championship before, so look for him to put the squad on his back.

Bench: Advantage Magic

The Magic are one of the deepest teams in the NBA. They have several quality bench guys that can fill it up. Ryan Anderson can explode on any given night. Jason Williams is as solid as a backup PG you’ll find — he never turns the ball over. And Brandon Bass is a monster. I can’t wait to see him and Tyrus Thomas go at it. Meantime, the Bobcats bench is extremely shallow and includes Larry Hughes. He’s good enough for a 7-point swing in the opposite favor every time he steps on the floor. Expect him to hoist a slew of contested shots with 20 left on the shot clock. That kind of basketball is the bane of my existence. We’re looking at 40-plus minutes for Wallace, Jackson, Felton and Diaw. If this series goes six games, which I think it will, fatigue could be a determining factor.

Coaching: Advantage Bobcats

Given how many rest days there are in the NBA Playoffs, you can expect master strategist Larry Brown to deliver. Don’t get me wrong, Stan Van Gundy has a mustache and is a great coach, but he’s going against a legend. It’ll be interesting to see how the matchups develop over the course of the series. I’ve questioned Coach Brown’s personnel decisions in the past, but I don’t think he’ll be taking too many risks in the postseason. I could see the Magic doing just that — leaving Redick or Barnes in for five minutes too long. I suppose when you don’t have a lot of options on the bench it makes substitutions that much easier.

I think the series will go seven games and will include at least one overtime game. It’s going to be a battle, and the Cats can’t afford many mistakes against the defending conference champs. I’m on pins and needles. Stay tuned.

Check out the Bobcats Playoff Anthem from Charlotte’s own DJ Complete. Get pumped!

Closing in on History

Call me Mr. Jumbotron.

There’s something about the gyration of my hips and the fact that I know a couple Time Warner Cable cameramen that gets me on the big screen about once a week. Consider that percentage. Those are like 2001 Barry Bonds numbers. I’ve attended nearly ever Bobcats home game, and I can safely say my 2 Live Crew moves have impacted thousands of young children across the greater Charlotte area. You’re welcome.

Tonight was a monumental step toward the playoffs for the Cats. A commanding win against a depleted Hawks team, coupled with losses from Toronto and Chicago, has all but solidified a playoff game in the Queen City. Tonight reminded me of that stretch of games midway through the season when the Cats were annihilating the Spurs, Suns and Heat. It was nice to be out in front the entire time — Secretariat style.

After about six minutes into the first quarter, the smallest margin for the rest of the game was 9 points. That’s super impressive. Tonight epitomized why I want to play the Hawks in the first round of the playoffs. Jamal Crawford reverted back to his old form, chucking up 30-foot shots with 20 seconds left on the shot clock. Josh Smith put up 22-foot bricks in a one-on-one situation with Boris Diaw. I’ve said it all year: that’s how the Bobcats win. If the Cats can make a physical, athletic team shoot jump shots, I’ll take that ragtag bunch from Charlotte any day of the week.

Sure Atlanta didn’t have their best player (Joe Johnson) or their most overvalued (Mike Bibby), but I doubt it would have made much of a difference. The Bobcats are getting to the free throw line at a remarkable rate. They’ve shot more free throws than their opponents in six of the last seven games — winning five of those matchups. Tonight they shot nearly two and a half times the free throws the Hawks were able to muster. It’s a paradigm for playing the right way — tenacity and discernment. Hell, Tyson Chandler even went 6-7 from the charity stripe. It’s hard to lose when that happens.

It was nice to see DJ get some playing time tonight. He was perfect, shooting 4-4 from the field and 3-3 from distance. Have you noticed DJ Augustin has a shot chart similar to LeBron James? It’s either 25 feet out or right underneath the basket. I can buy that from a guy that’s pushing 5′9, but LeBron won’t reach that Kobe level until he learns a mid-range game. That could keep King James from earning a title this year. Of course if the Bobcats fall to the eighth seed that could also keep The Chosen One from winning it all. (Wink.)

Celebrities are hard to come by when it comes to Bobcats games. We’ll get Ric Flair or an occasional NASCAR driver sitting with a couple of princesses on the floor, but that’s only when the Cavs, Celtics, Lakers, Heat, Bulls or Knicks come to town. So you have to imagine my surprise when I was sitting a row above the legendary Joe Gibbs tonight in some of the cheapest lower-level seats you can find.  There wasn’t a single person sitting within five seats of him. It was quite bizarre. As my buddy pointed out, it looked like Joe Gibbs snuck down from the upper level to get a better view. (Picture 69-year-old Joe Gibbs sweet talking an usher into those seats like we’ve all done before. I… I lost my ticket. You saw me walk down here before. Stephen Jackson and I have the same neck tattoo. I… I used to coach the Redskins.) I approached Joe after the game in hope of striking up a conversation about Joey Logano’s struggle with puberty. Instead, he gave me some creepy wink, stuck his tongue out and handed me a flyer about god. Twenty seconds later I held a brief conversation with the Bobcats emcee, who happened to look 15 years older in person. The jumbotron does amazing things. She could heighten the morale of a dozen middle school girls with that much makeup. It was a surreal minute of my life.

41 wins. Does that mean anything to you? It should. It means mediocre is the best the Bobcats can do — a .500 winning percentage. What? You think several wins over .500 is still mediocre? I’ve got news for you my friend. This is the Eastern Conference, where winning half of your games could get you the five seed in any given season. This is where Boris Diaw flirts with a triple double once a week. This is where Larry Hughes plays on an American professional basketball team. This is where playoff-bound teams risk losing a season series to the New Jersey Nets (gulp). This is where you can be 23 games behind first place and still have a shot at the post season. This, my friends, is where the Bobcats can make some noise.

Playoff Push

Barring an epic collapse, the Charlotte Bobcats will make the playoffs. Let’s allow that thought to simmer for a second. The last time the Queen City hosted a playoff game the first (and unfortunately not the last) Spider-Man installment was in theaters, Ozzy Osbourne just started mumbling on MTV and Barry Bonds was closing in on 600 home runs. In eight years we’ve seen our team leave, a new team return, the drafting of Sean May and watched two more crappy superhero movies. Now we’re weeks away from seeing the NBA Playoffs in Charlotte. It’s great to be back.

We’ll assume the team will make the playoffs. I think that’s safe to say at this point. Are we capable of a first-round upset? Absolutely. But which team should we play? Let’s start with the teams we don’t want to face.

BOSTON CELTICS (Season Series: 0-3)

The Cats played some great games against the Celtics in past years. That certainly wasn’t the case this year. Who could forget opening day? It’s the only day of the NBA season where you can honestly say no team is better than yours. Twenty seconds after tip-off it was crystal clear the Celtics were better. Although the team has been remodeled several times over since that game, the 92-59 shellacking will be burned into my mind forever. I’d rather have my eyeballs taped open and be forced to watch 10 straight hours of WNBA highlights than relive that Bobcats experience. It was the lowest franchise moment in history, save only the day Matt Carroll robbed the team of 27 million over six years. Oh, and the Cats didn’t fair much better in the other two meetings with the Celtics, putting our margin of losing to the Celtics this year at 25 points. Yikes.

Rajon Rondo is a stud, and the Bobcats surrender way too many open three-pointers. That’s never good when you’re playing against the best three-point shooter in history. While they may be old, the Celts are still the meanest kids on the block. They beat up teams psychologically. Kendrick Perkins is that big oaf at the bar that’s just looking for an excuse to pound your face in. Meantime, Boris Diaw is that guy sipping on a Mike’s Hard Lemonade through a straw. This is not the team we want to play.

ORLANDO MAGIC (Season Series: 1-3)

The Cats did take down the Magic on the road without Gerald Wallace, which is pretty impressive. But again, the Bobcats give up so many open threes, and Orlando is more than adept at hitting them. I’m not particularly concerned about Dwight Howard. Sure, he’s going to get a lot of rebounds, but he’s also going to dribble the ball of his foot five times a game. The knock on Shaq has always been how he’s just an elephantine, feral force with no skill set. How is Dwight Howard any different?  Instead of just being a big body, Howard’s only skill is his freakish athleticism. No one ever talks about how he hasn’t done anything to improve his game. They give him a pass because he doesn’t have tattoos and smiles all the time. Call me when Dwight Howard can hit a jump hook.

Orlando has a deep squad — seven or eight guys can put up double-figures. That’s pretty scary considering we’ll be running G-Force and S-Jax until they can barely stand, and Coach Brown will be calling on trigger-happy Larry Hughes for minutes. However, there’s always hope when you’re going against a team that has Vince Carter, a career 41% shooter in the playoffs. Let’s hope he never breaks character.

ATLANTA HAWKS (Season Series: 1-2, Incomplete)

This would be a very interesting matchup. I kept waiting for this team to meltdown, but it never happened. What the hell got into Jamal Crawford? This guy somehow turned into Atlanta’s go-to guy. It’s funny because throughout all of his past stops he built the reputation as the guy who was going to shoot no matter how many defenders were thrown at him. Jamal Crawford was the dude at the YMCA you don’t want to play with — head-down dribbling, fadeaway threes with a hand in his face. Basically, he was a spitting image of Larry Hughes. Until this year, Crawford has never shot over 42% in seasons where he played 50 games. Now he’s coming off the bench for Atlanta, shooting 45% and taking last-second shots by DESIGN rather than by default.

Joe Johnson is going to get his buckets, there’s no denying that. He’s too good. But if the Bobcats can force the Hawks to become a jump-shooting team, I think we can win this series. We just need Josh Smith and Marvin Williams chucking threes. Atlanta is undersized, and Zaza Pachulia has more back acne than J.J. Redick and every WWE wrestler combined. That has to work to our advantage.

This matchup would be about more than just basketball. It’d be a cultural battle for bragging rights in the southeast region. We could call it something catchy like the Sweet Tea Series (pronounced “tay”). We need the Panthers to acquire Mike Vick to make this thing come full circle.

CLEVELAND CAVALIERS (Season Series 3-1)

Sure we dominated the best team in basketball three straight times this year, but isn’t it a little ambitious to wish for a matchup against the Eastern Conference favorite? Of course it is. Odds are Lebron and company will put the hammer down and plow through Time Warner Cable Arena like Grave Digger through a Mazda MPV. But I’m shooting for the stars on this first Bobcats playoff appearance. Not only because we proved we can beat the NBA’s best team on the road and badly at home, but also because of the future ramifications on the NBA. There’s no getting around it; a win versus the top-seeded Cavaliers would be the biggest upset in NBA Playoffs history. It’d be bigger than the 2007 Warriors victory over the Jazz and bigger than the Nuggets upset over the Sonics in 1994 (one of the worst moments of my childhood). It’s all because of Lebron. He’s going down as one of the best players to ever play the game.  But for all the superhuman dunks and the clutch, late-game heroics, he’d have a string of highlights where he was bested by the franchise no one wanted to play for. And for Clevelanders it would mean another sports franchise blew it again. Lose in the first round and Lebron’s packing his bags before you can say Times Square. That’s what it’s all about — watching your team tarnish the legacy of one of the greatest athletes to every grace the planet and simultaneously wrecking the basketball future of an American city.

Don’t Call it a Comeback

Uhh… sorry, Tiger. You’re doing it wrong. This is a comeback.

19 points down in the first half against the most prolific scorer in the NBA and without their best player, the Bobcats turn in the most climactic performance in franchise history. After a dismal first 22 minutes of regulation, the Cats started playing the right way, going on a torrid 41-16 run and solidifying the biggest comeback in franchise history. And it wasn’t against some bottom-dwelling Eastern Conference squad. (Although, if that were the case the Cats probably would have laid an egg.) This is the best Supersonics team since my (fertile) homeboy Shawn Kemp was dropping windmills and illegitimate children.

Big props to Stephen Graham for the game of his professional career. Not only did he shoot 78% on his way to a career-high 19 points, but he shut down Kevin Durant in the second half — I mean really shut him down. And again, another solid performance from Raymond Felton. My buddy Bloop and I got an argument with these guys sitting in front of us about the former Carolina standout. It’s easy to hate on Raymond. His jump shot is as smooth as sandpaper, and his defense is far from intimidating, but he’s a general out there. It’s apparent this team would not have a vice grip on a playoff spot without his leadership.

If you told me the Cats would take down the Magic on the road and topple the Thunder in such dramatic fashion without Lord Wallace, there’s no way I’d buy it. But the Cats have proven again and again this year that you can throw pragmatism out the window. They’re as unpredictable as a Toyota accelerator. So how’d they do it this time?  It was a medley of several factors, but when the odds are stacked against you the coach is the determining piece of the puzzle. I’m fairly certain Larry Brown’s approach is to just make the players feel like garbage — but not in a Bill Parcells kind of way. He has to have some motivating appeal to his condescension. Tyrus Thomas seems to respond well.

It’s so refreshing to see someone with so much energy on the floor. I mean, that guy has dynamite in his calf muscles. He’s always jumping around, pinning shots against the glass or rearing back for a monster tomahawk slam. Take a look at his line tonight: 20 minutes, 11 points, 9 rebounds, 2 steals, 2 blocks and countless “pump up the crowd” arm motions. Imagine what he’s going to be like in 3 years. Tyrus is already knocking down that 17-foot jump shot and can put the ball on the floor like only a handful of guys his size can. To think some people still long for Flip Murray. T-Time is 24 years old and is only getting better.

About midway through the second quarter, Bloop and I were discussing the possibility of trading entire teams with the Thunder. That squad has so much young talent — not to mention a future Hall of Famer. I wouldn’t want to play them in the first round of the playoffs. But you know what? It’s kind of awesome to not have a superstar on the team. Sure, you don’t get the exposure, money, fans, amazing plays — well, you don’t get a lot of things. But after seeing Kobe, D-Wade, Dwight Howard and Durant all fall to that ragtag bunch from Charlotte, I think I prefer a team that plays the right way.

Back in the Mix

Ladies and gentlemen, Raymond Felton! Where have you been all our lives? Ray Ray often gets lost in the shuffle when talking about the Bobcats. This isn’t too surprising, seeing that Gerald Wallace and Stephen Jackson command a lot of positive attention, while Desagana Diop and Boris Diaw make up much of the cynical conversation. Felton falls in between. He’s done hardly anything this year to prove he deserves to be gushed over, but he also is a floor general that you want to have in the game. Such is the duality of Raymond Felton.

Tonight, however, Felton stole the show. It was one of the few times all year #20 took over. Hell, we may even have to go way back to the days when Sean May was still wolfing down hot dogs in the Dean Dome. Tonight, Felton played like a number five pick in the draft. He ran the pick and roll like the marquee point guards drafted before him. It was only the third time all season he’s reached double-digits in assists. Why can we not see this night in, night out?

No one single player in the NBA, can stay in front of Felton if he attacks the hoop. That’s a claim you can only make about a handful on players. The problem is Felton doesn’t attack the hoop. I realize the Bobcats are one of the only teams in the NBA that actually runs plays, but you can’t tell me if Raymond drove and dished more frequently the Cats wouldn’t shoot a better percentage. And that’s the difference between wins and losses. The Bobcats do not shoot the ball well. They run these elaborate motion plays and players get a bit of daylight, but it doesn’t matter if you lack a jump shooter. Dumb it down Coach Brown. Pick, roll, drive, dish. That’s the NBA.

Speaking of shooting, it’s been nice to see DJ Augustin lighting it up lately. He’s really finding his form now that the bulk of the season is in the rearview mirror. Perhaps he just needed more playing time to get his confidence back. It sure came in handy tonight, when he and Raymond were the only ones to rally the team back against the Heat. Best statistic of the game: Gerald Wallace and Stephen Jackson combining for 0 points in the final period. The team’s top two scorers shut out in the last 12 minutes. They put up about the same numbers combined as Amare Stoudemire and Steve Nash. If those two guys don’t score in the fourth is that team winning? Is Louis Amundson taking over? Don’t think so.

That tells me two things. One, Gerald Wallace may become the Jamaal Magloire of NBA All-Stars (dear god). And two, this team is hungry for the playoffs. No way in hell they should have won that game the way Wallace and Jackson were chucking up bricks. But they found a way, and that’s what hungry teams do. They will themselves to victory. I’ve joked that Boris Diaw’s mouth is always watering for something. Now it looks as if it may just be the postseason (and maybe some stuffed-crust pizza).

There were some classic moments during this weekend’s homestand at the Cable Box. I never knew we had so many California transplants in the Queen City. Nothing infuriates me more than seeing star-chasing fans cheering against their hometown team. For all you hear about Kobe Bryant being one of the most hated players in the NBA, well, apparently those pollsters have never been to Charlotte. It was a lovefest that would make Richard Gere and Julia Roberts vomit. As if it couldn’t get any worse, the Davidson fans came out of the woodwork to see Stephen Curry play. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely root for Steph. He’s going to be one of the best in the league someday. It’s one thing to hope he does well, but to pull for the Warriors against the Cats — come on Davidson fans. I realize you’ve never had an athlete of that caliber come out of your institution. That doesn’t make it okay for you to scream in my ear every time Anthony Tolliver makes a free throw. Go tend to your garden or something.

So hear we are, back in the race. With one win against the Heat we’ve solidified the tie breaker and leapfrogged from ninth to seventh in the Eastern Conference. There’s more reason to rejoice. Through Friday’s game against the Lakers, the Bobcats had the third most difficult schedule in the league. From here on out, they have the third easiest. Wait, didn’t we lose to the Nets twice? Nevermind. This may not end well.